GODZILLA PORN!

See if you can guess what movie these shots are from.  Just a little fun to tide you over til Friday.

Trailer Tuesday!

Welcome to Trailer Tuesday!  Where weekly i'll do my best to bring you the newest and most interesting trailers for the years upcoming films.  This blog will be updated throughout the day.

The first trailer i'm very excited to share is the very first for the upcoming Marvel film, Guardians of the Galaxy.

The James Gunn directed Guardians of the Galaxy features an unlikely cast of characters who must team up in order to defeat a cosmic force of epic proportions. The August 1 release stars Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Lee Pace, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Djimon Hounsou, Benicio del Toro, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, Gregg Henry, Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel.

One of the most beloved Sci-Fi tomes to ever be adapted for the screen is Frank Herbert's Dune.   We are all familiar with the David Lynch work that released in December of 1984.  What most of you don't know, is that almost ten years previous an adaptation of Dune was in the works.  It was so epic, that it was doomed to remain within the hearts and minds of those who were intent on making it.  With a script that was some 14 hours in length, and names attached like Orson Wells, Peter Gabrial, Pink Floyd, and many others; it is the greatest film that never was.  This is the story of Alejandro Jodorowsky and the adaptation that almost was.  Releasing early 2014.  Must see! 

Valentines Day Massacre Movie Marathon

On this, the 14^th of February 2014; we celebrate the Valentines Day Massacre.  Now why we would choose to immortalize this memory with it’s own holiday, I shall never know.  However, in keeping with the tradition of V-day, I shall endeavor to press through this most barbaric of holidays with a movie marathon of sorts. 

The first movie on the list is 1947’s Monsieur Verdoux. Starring, directed by, scored by, and finally written by Charlie Chaplain from an idea by Orson Welles.  Instead of playing his usual “Tramp”, he plays a serial murderer with a warped sense of morality.  It’s a somewhat comic version of real life French serial murderer and real life “bluebeard” Henri Landru.  (Now I’m going to be honest here, I just figured bluebeard was one of Blackbeard’s less famous relatives.)  A bluebeard is the male version of the much better known “black widow” (a woman who marries and then murders her husband, often for his fortune.) 

A black comedy that would seem quite beyond Chaplains comfort zone, were it not for his dramatic turn in moments from 1940’s The Great Dictator. 

While Monsieur Verdoux is dark, it’s comedic charm lies very much in our title character’s journey and from jaded con-man whom only see’s real love within the context of the family he’s trying to support; and the glimmer’s of hope that begin to reawaken his hope that mankind isn’t completely bereft of hope.

Chaplin delivers a flawless performance.  An amazing cast of female actors surrounds him.  The performances of these “victims” are such, that one almost forgets that this is a “Charlie Chaplain” film.  Martha Ray especially shines as the mark that just won’t die.  In fact, she delivers my favorite scene; in which Verdoux, quite unsuccessfully, attempts to kill her while out fishing.  This is easily my second favorite Chaplain scene, the first being the famous speech from The Great Dictator.

The film ranges from darkly comic, to strait drama, and at times stark social commentary.  The final act brings scenes of stock market crash and Nazi oppression and war.  The one person whom he shows kindness to (in spite of his initial plan to kill her in a ruthless experiment), is the one person that in turn shows him kindness in the end.  Alas, he cannot escape justice, and refuses to try.

Judge: “Monsieur Verdoux, you have been found guilty. Have you anything to say before sentence is passed upon you?”

Henri Verdoux: “Oui, monsieur, I have. However remiss the prosecutor has been in complimenting me, he at least admits that I have brains. Thank you, Monsieur, I have. And for thirty-five years I used them honestly. After that, nobody wanted them. So I was forced to go into business for myself. As for being a mass killer, does not the world encourage it? Is it not building weapons of destruction for the sole purpose of mass killing? Has it not blown unsuspecting women and little children to pieces? And done it very scientifically? As a mass killer, I am an amateur by comparison. However, I do not wish to lose my temper, because very shortly, I shall lose my head. Nevertheless, upon leaving this spark of earthly existence, I have this to say: I shall see you all…very soon…very soon.”

The second film on the list is Fritz Lang’s psychological masterpiece, M.  A taut German language thriller from 1931 that is just as chilling today as it was when first it graced the silver screen, if not more so.  Peter Lorre stars as the unassuming, but quite disturbed serial killer Hans Beckert.  He has begun targeting young girls in pre World War II Germany.  The setting is reminiscent of the gangster flicks set in Chicago or Detroit.  In fact, the mob underworld seems to be strait out of a Scorsese or Coppola film.  The police are in frenzy; staging nightly raids of bottom feeding bars and security sweeps of homeless shelters.  It is no wonder that the local mob boss is upset, it’s cutting into his bottom line.  But just like Coppola’s Godfather, this mob boss is also concerned about his people.  The police aren’t going about it fast enough, so they decide to take things into their own hands.  So begins the watch of the homeless network.  The eyes and ears of every homeless person are on alert for any stranger who takes an unnatural interest in little girls.  I don’t want to give away the whole movie, so I’ll just say that the police procedure seems spot on.  The story rarely slows, and when it does, it feels natural.  The writing is incredibly tight.  Peter Lorre’s performance is seamless and he gives one of the most impassioned speeches, from a villain, that I have ever heard.  I am sure that I won’t forget it anytime soon.

Hans Beckert: “I can’t help what I do! I can’t help it, I can’t…What do you know about it? Who are you anyway? Who are you? Criminals? Are you proud of yourselves? Proud of breaking safes or cheating at cards? Things you could just as well keep your fingers off. You wouldn’t need to do all that if you’d learn a proper trade or if you’d work. If you weren’t a bunch of lazy bastards. But I… I can’t help myself! I have no control over this, this evil thing inside of me, the fire, the voices, the torment!”

The third and final film as we wind down our celebration is a little known 1987 indie called, I Was a Teenage Zombie.  Basically, it’s your average 80’s teen comedy about a bunch of high school kids (that look like 25 year olds) who want to get high (but ONLY on weed! No acid, cocaine or LSD for these kids) and possibly fall in love (or just get laid), at the upcoming dance.  Of course, their dealer screws them.  When they ask for a refund, a fight ensues and the dealer… slips on a banana peal. They think he’s dead- but not really.  He then wakes up while they are trying to dispose of the body and yet another struggle commences, until he gets a bat to the head, actually killing him.  They then dispose of his body in a toxic sludge filled river.  A short time later, zombie drug dealer knocks off our hero Dan Wake (Michael Rubin in his first, and last leading roll).  When his friends realize they have no choice but to fight zombie with zombie, they steal poor ole Dan’s body and dump it in the river as well.  Normally, this would be very, very bad judgment.  However, lucky for these misguided teens Zombie Dan comes to the rescue.  The problem lies in the fact that Zombie Dan is still in love.  Of course, the death toll rises, Zombie Dan tries to woo his human girlfriend (not going to work out… really), heads get twisted and dances still happen.  Zombie Dealer meets Zombie Dan.  They don’t get along.  Heads roll.  Bittersweet ending.  This is one movie that I can’t recommend with good conscience.  However, if you must watch it, I’ll tell you my secret.  I actually had a good time watching this B-movie.  Far from a masterpiece, it is mindless fun and some special effects that are so bad they’re good.  It was clearly shot on a shoestring budget with16mm.  While it will never reach the cult status of a film like Slime City (which I do highly recommend), it works as a decent way to pass the time. 

“I was young, reckless, and in love.  Then… I was DEAD, young, reckless, and in love.” 

I hope you all had a fabulous V-Day.  Mine wasn’t half bad.

Goodbye, Metropolis! Hello, Gotham City!

Nananananananananananana- Batman!!!!!  Just like every Fanboy in the world I have been loving the hero hype of the past few years.  This past summer has been even better bringing with it the announcement of Superman/Batman.  Now unlike a lot of other people, I haven't been going nuts trying to figure out who should don the cape and cowl.  I figured we have time, heck the script isn't even written yet.  You can imagine my surprise when Warner Brothers does something so very, well, them... They cast Ben Affleck as the caped crusader.  I'm sure Mr. Affleck will do great, but if they were announcing him as the director of the next Batman project I'd be more excited.  As is, I kind of feel like someone is playing an April Fools joke on me.  Again, Affleck has the chops.  I loved him in The Town which was incredibly acted in and directed by him.  In my opinion he had already proven himself capable of carrying a superhero role when he donned tight outfit and mask in the superior Directors Cut of Daredevil.  He's already played Superman George Reeves in Hollywoodland.  Maybe it was destiny.  Once he dons the cape and cowl he will have been the first actor to play Superman AND Batman in major motion pictures.    Cross your fingers with me, and lets just be grateful that they didn't cast Matt Damon as Dick Grayson.  Anyway, just click here to link to the full press release from DC.

Robert Downey Jr. Returns as Iron Man!

Hello Hunters!  You can stop panicking, as it is now official.  Robert Downey Jr. will be returning for the next two Avengers sequels!  Of course, we don't know yet what kinds of cameo's or solo exploits Tony Stark may be getting up to in the mean time, but this is surely good news to this fanboys heart.  Check out the full press release from Marvel.com:

“I am Iron Man.”

Tony Stark’s famous closing line to the very first Iron Man film takes on new life today as Marvel is pleased to announce the signing of Robert Downey, Jr. to reprise the role of the “billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist.”

Under the two-picture agreement, Downey will star as Tony Stark/Iron Man in “Marvel’s The Avengers 2” and “Marvel’s The Avengers 3.” Downey is represented at CAA by Bryan Lourd, Jim Toth and Matt Leaf and by his attorneys Tom Hansen and Stewart Brookman of the firm Hansen Jacobson.

Downey, Jr.’s last two Marvel films, 2012’s “Marvel’s The Avengers” and this year’s “Iron Man 3,” rank as two of the top five grossing films of all time, collectively earning over $2.7 billion worldwide to date.

“Marvel’s The Avengers 2” is being written and directed by Joss Whedon. Featuring favorites from the first Avengers film and new Marvel characters never before seen on the big screen, “Marvel’s The Avengers 2” is slated to begin production in March 2014 and open in theaters May 1, 2015.

Thrilled by this mega announcement, Marvelites? Well, be sure you stay glued to Marvel.com because in the coming days and weeks and months, Marvel.com will be FIRST in the world to reveal additional casting updates, new characters coming to Marvel movies and so much more -- directly from the most secret meetings at Marvel! You wouldn't want to miss out on that now, would you?!

More on Marvel.com: Click on the picture above for more from Marvel!

Hemlock Grove Gets Season 2!

Ok, I know it's not exactly "super" news. It's not even movie news. But it's good news all the same. Splatter aficionado Eli Roth continues as Executive Producer along with newcomer Charles Eglee of Dexter fame to bring us more gruesome transformations and creepy eyeball regrowth (yay! it's coming, they promised). Season two of Hemlock Grove should start filming later this year with all ten episodes premiering in 2014.

300: Rise of Empire

Hello Hunters! The Rise of Empire Trailer has finally decided to grace us with its presence! So without further adieu, here it is...



Hope you enjoyed that as it will have to tide you over for a little longer. Tentatively scheduled for a late summer release it has been pushed back until March 17, 2014.